At one time or another, each of us may have felt like we have been wronged or that an event shouldn’t have happened to us. It is true that some things are the result of living on the earth (trials are a part of life) and other events are caused by the people around us. We do not have control of their agency, but we do have control, or should have control, over our reaction to the way others use their agency. When we choose to harbor unforgiving feelings and continue to feel “wronged” we are harming ourselves. That energy is staying with us and causing us more pain.
“...let us bind up the wounds—oh, the many wounds that have been caused by cutting words, by stubbornly cultivated grievances, by scheming plans to “get even” with those who may have wronged us. We all have a little of this spirit of revenge in us. Fortunately, we all have the power to rise above it, if we will “clothe [ourselves] with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace.”-Gordon B. Hinkley.
If we choose to observe children in this area, they provide such a wonderful example of an easy way to move forward. For most kids, in most instances, it is pretty easy for them to forgive and move on. They are back to playing rather quickly. I think it's because they've truly let whatever it was that happened float away from them. They get themselves back to a loving state so they can get back to more important things, like being a superhero.
An easy way to rid ourselves of these built up literal wounds (negative energies) is to forgive. Saying aloud the words, “I forgive,” allows light to heal the parts of us where these unforgiving feelings were caught. Unforgiveness lingers inside of us and literally is “chipped” away when we choose to fully and freely forgive. I practice saying out loud "I forgive..." whenever I feel wronged. As I do this more frequently I find I have a lighter and more charitable heart. I find that I find more love and compassion for the person and for myself.
“And be ye kind to one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32
We must also always remember to forgive ourselves-which is usually the person we are least willing to forgive! Allow yourself to feel the full effects of forgiving yourself for events outside of your control. Forgive yourself of things you wish you had/had not said. Look back on your life and find times where you're still holding onto guilt or shame for something you said or did. Say out loud, or write the words down, the forgiveness you offer to yourself. "I forgive myself for this event. I did not know as much as I know now. I have compassion for myself. I learned the lesson and I am ready to embrace myself as more whole and complete by leaving this event behind."
You will feel the peace and light fill your heart, mind, and body. You will feel yourself relax. You may even cry. (If you have trouble crying, read this post.)
Practice this: when you are alone and feeling open, say aloud everything that comes to mind that needs to be forgiven. Some things may seem trivial, but if they are being brought to your mind, at one time you did not think they were so inconsequential. It may help to also write down your forgiveness. Once you have forgiven yourself, you are more capable of loving yourself and loving others more freely. Your false pride will vanish and you will remember the love that God has for you. You will remember the support that is offered to you each day.
“I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” Doctrine and Covenants 64:10
Here are a couple of recommendations to understand yourself more (and offer yourself some love!). I think one of the best ways that I find different areas of myself that I need to forgive is by reading good books that help me think. The links below are affiliate links and I appreciate your use of them!